When it comes to high pressure and very stressful situations in life its better to know than to believe.
We humans are a fascinating species, we make everything complex out of simple things like black and white.
That may be the reason why religion and science exist, why we can fly to the moon but can´t cure cancer.
My approach to successful self affirmation is whether driven by esoteric means or spirituality, its part of my being to believe in myself rather than a god. Ah wait... the belief was yesterday, today I know, or better said I know how to lie to myself.
I have to say its part of my daily routine and whenever the situation occurs I tend to see why something is working and why some things are doomed to fail.
The title may sound bold, but here is a solid explanation why its absolutely right;
As children we learn to believe in a god and it might even be a kind of knowledge that we feel, we have no proof but our parents do believe too, right? Depending on our growth the belief can decrease as young adults and in later life god is only a mere assumption. But what is lost with the belief is the knowledge, or better said the process of the belief how knowledge, or lying successfully to ourself, works.
We can learn to lie to ourselves again when we learn how marketing works
Seth Godin has a nice example in his book "All marketers are liars
" Where he describes this process with the taste of expensive wine from a $2 Glass and a $50 Glass. Tests have shown to a lot persons, not knowing about the price differences, that there is no change of flavor. The only thing that´s left is the price, maybe the design and the fact that it is expensive so it has to taste better
. What works here is a lie
. A lie that we tell to ourselves and to others. In the mean to buy such an expensive glass and lead arguments to friends who are in doubt we come into the "marketer" position ourself and being successful in converting our friends we turn into liars too, or we accept the lie as a truth which makes our conversation with a friend feel better.
This example literally happens several times a day to us, we lie to ourselves in the belief that it is the truth. We believe newspapers, we believe the diagnosis of a doctor, we pretend that the price for an apple is justified, etc. But do we know all of these things? Either we tell ourself a lie or we believe it, but no one knows for sure.
When it comes to situations described in the first sentence, lets say facing a meeting with an important client, and our work is just halfway done, why isn´t it possible to lie to ourselves in a way that we can ensure a wonderful outcome for both parties? Like with the converted friends who drink overpriced wine out of overpriced wine glasses?
Because we are trained that believe is inherent and that lying is wrong, blame your parents for that.
If we can learn to reconnect emotions with the aspect of knowledge, we can adapt this connection to really powerful affirmations that work.
An example: You can associate that feeling of knowledge that you are right, when in that thriller movie you can exactly say why someone is the killer from the onset and the ending shows proof of that.
It is simple as that, observe this behavior and especially the emotional connection and try to reproduce this feeling when doing a self-affirmation, lets say you want to be successful in the meeting tomorrow- its all about knowing how to lie to yourself in a way that you believe it, and you´re done.